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Basis for Therapy

Stop Abuse!!

Abuse comes in many forms - You Can Get Help, more importantly, you can help yourself, whether you are abused or doing the abusing.

The Bully

Remembering first grade, I was a happy-go-lucky child, but there were several girls in the class who just didn't like me. One used to look at me pounding her fist into her other hand. She terrorized me for the next 3 or 4 years, and I was having nightmares. I finally told my parents, and they said to stand up to her, which scared the heck out of me. One day when she was staring at me, pounding her fist in her hand, she wrote a note to me saying she'd meet me after school...I should have been an actress, because I looked at her and nodded my okay, and pounded my fist in my other hand. Luckily she never showed up, and from that point on we sort of ignored each other, but she'd do things like draw pictures of naked women and tell the teacher I did them. I was lucky, but how many children are victimized in the schools today by peers who won't take "no" for an answer, or who just lambast their way through life, mowing down anyone who gets in their way.
Our children should be safe in school, safe from any form of abuse, and school should be a wonderful experience. Why is it that so many parents are homeschooling their children? Because they are not safe in our schools today. The school officials take the attitude that learning to survive in today's society is part of their education. I grant you, they will have to learn how to protect themselves, but far too many who have been beat up countless times and picked on by brutes who are trying to make themselves look tough to their peers, will one day bring a gun to school to protect themselves that way.
It isn't fair to let our children be constantly picked on in our schools...WHY ARE THESE TEACHERS AND COUNSELORS LETTING THIS HAPPEN to the meek kids???
These days the bullies travel in packs. They carry knives, guns, and use whatever they need to hurt their victims.
Driving by a high school, when the kids were getting out, the street flooded with students, I saw a very small, very skinny Vietnamese boy, just as he was attacked from behind, by a group of black kids. My heart bled for that boy. I can only imagine how he felt and how scary going to school in a new land, unwelcoming and dangerous was, as it had become.
Certain children are just hyperactive brutes who bully their way through life in order to get what they want. They get pleasure out of making the other kids fear them, and reap the benefits of being the tough guy in school. They push the other kids around, beat to a pulp the timid kids at lunch and after school, terrorize their teachers, steal lunch money, and beat kids up who won't give them their lunch money. They are mean, and they are selfish brats and their behavior is unacceptable in today's society.
Teachers, Principals, Counselors, and the higher authorities MUST enforce the practice of not tolerating abuse in our schools by bullies or anyone else. If it will take more institutions in order to house these bad kids, then so be it.
We need reform schools to be brought back into our society. There is a definite need for them. Of course, there will always be a concern for the impact the do-badder experiences going to such an institution. Will it scar him for life? Will he turn out to be bad forever? Will he have low-self esteem? Well, it's too late to worry about these things when your child is sent to a place like this...parents need to keep these things in mind to prevent it from happening in the first place, and also teach our kids that violence begets violence and it has no place in normal society any way, shape, or form.
No one wants their child to be hurt emotionally, physically or in anyway. The laws of survival are survival of the fittest...The fittest does not equate the bully. People need to mind their own business, and live and let live. If you are bothered by someone's face, that's your problem, get help! Don't victimize innocent people because you have a problem. Mind your own business and make yourself miserable, do not bother other people!
The rules of the reform school should include incorporating such child back into society when he has finally learned his lesson well. Then and only then should such child be allowed to attend a normal school, with normal children, so that normal learning can go on. No child who constantly disrupts the other children from learning should be tolerated, and the counselors need to learn how to deal with errant children who constantly cause problems in the classroom, and not pass the buck by telling the teachers to deal with the problem.
When a child takes a gun to school and blows others away, I would say, we need to rethink our system of dealing with those who drive kids to the limit and who are really the ones who are to blame.
Bullies don't have to constantly beat up other kids in order to be classified a bully. There are those who shun and won't accept certain kids into the school family. These shunned children feel alienated, and grow into people who feel rage at the thought that during their innocent years they were treated so badly by those who they wanted to call friends.
In order to get along in society, we as a people are hard put to explain to our children not to be mean to anyone, and yet at the same time be prudent when choosing friends and talking to others. It's a thin line, but it doesn't take an Einstein to realize that if one kid is constantly made fun of, or shunned, eventually that kid is going to walk into a MacDonald's or a classroom, and find pleasure in blowing everyone away.
Years of taking other peoples crap, (uncalled for), would drive anyone to the brink.
We need to take responsibility for our children's actions. Eventually the laws will be enforced and parents will be going to jail for the crimes their children commit. That might open some eyes, parents and children's alike. When the children see that their parents are in jail, and they have to go to live with foster parents who are sometimes less than fun, they might finally start appreciating what they did have and start acting like a human being instead of a rabid animal. The parents on the other hand might finally start talking to their kids, (MAKING THEM LISTEN WHETHER THEY WANT TO OR NOT!), and instead of just letting them do what they want to do, start parenting, not by abusing, but by reasoning and telling them that life in general is simple...get along with people, try to live a healthy lifestyle, AND STOP MAKING TROUBLE, or else you'll take their TV, or phone, or whatever away, for an amout of punishment time to make them understand and learn to get along in society. It is the parents fault if their child does something wrong, and THEY SHOULD BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE! On the other hand, if your child gets beat up in school, GO DIRECTLY TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE AND SCREAM BLOODY MURDER!!! This shouldn't be happening! The only reason these bullies are doing this is because they can. No one screams!
No one should have to put up with nasty people, and basically all prejudice is based on that. It's not that we don't like certain races, or nationalities, but we tend to categorize and type-cast those races or nationalities because of people who have treated us mean, and no one likes people who don't treat them nice.
Bullies have a problem living harmoniously with the people around them. The parents of such a child should be concerned that their child will end up in a reform school, and continue the rest of his life in a prison. That's where people who are threats to society belong!

The Graduation Speech

By Cheryl Costello-Forshey

Jesse was well liked by everyone, so everybody
anticipated what he had to say
As he walked up to the microphone, on graduation day.
For a moment he remained silent, as he peered at the
faces from his senior class
And then Jesse leaned into the microphone, and finally
spoke at last.
"As your class president, I'm here to speak to you
today.
I was up most of the night, considering what words
that I should say.
I reminisced on school days, and all the many things
I've done.
So many memories came to mind, but my thoughts kept me
focusing on one."
And then Jesse held up a photo, and he moved it all
around.
As everyone leaned to view it, and silence was the
only sound.
You could have heard a pin drop, as Jesse placed the
picture in full view,
and began talking of a classmate, that no one really
knew.
"Charlie's life seemed meaningless, compared to yours
and mine.
Because none of us understood him, we never took the
time.
We saw only what we wanted to, that Charlie was not
cool.
He was far from being popular, the butt of all our
jokes in school.
"Yes that we knew of Charlie, that much we decided on
our own.
He simply wasn't worth our time, he was an outsider
who deserved to be alone.
But you see Charlie had a passion, deep within he had
a dream.
It was his one desire, to play for our soccer team.
"And of course that was ludicrous, it was totally
absurd.
Charlie was no athlete, he was the senior nerd.
In gym class he was never captain, he was always
chosen last.
He was the poster child for unpopular, he preferred
history, science, and math.
"And so some of us took it upon ourselves to keep
Charlie from wanting to play.
For weeks we taunted him with insults, day after day
after day.
We made sure that he wasn't welcomed, by anyone else
on the team.
For whatever foolish reasons, we were set on
destroying his dream,
and I'm here now to tell you, as your class president,
I was wrong.
I'm here to speak for Charlie, who couldn't be here,
because you see he's gone."
Jesse paused just for a moment, to give time for his
words to sink in.
As he looked about, at the faces, of parents, teachers,
and friends...
"I'm not sure if all of you know it, I'm not sure if
anyone cares,
but the reason Charlie isn't with us, is a reason I
feel I must share.
Cruel words, they are definitely weapons, they
destroyed Charlie's body and soul.
For all of the taunting and teasing left Charlie
feeling out of control.
And Charlie alone in a battle, gathered his weapons to
fight.
He purchased some drugs from a dealer, his mother
found his body last night.
Maybe it was only an accident, maybe Charlie wanted to
die,
but no matter how it happened, we as his classmates
know why...
For who in their lives hasn't been teased, or made to
feel unbearable shame?
I'm certain that everyone in this room has endured
some heartache and pain.
And maybe boys will be boys and girls will be girls,
and we each have our battles to fight,
but no matter our justification, hurting Charlie was
never right."
And then Jesse took Charlie's picture and held it firm
in his hand,
and spoke to the photo before him, words unrehearsed
and unplanned.
"If only I'd helped somehow, given you guidance to
conquer your dream.
If only a teacher, a classmate, if someone would have
just intervened.
But I know I can never go back, I can never undo what
has been done.
For you will never receive your diploma, or ever play
soccer again.
But deep in my heart I wonder, I can't help asking
what if...
I would have reached out to you Charlie,
Would your school years have ended like this?"
Jesse stood lost in his thoughts, of a life that was
ended too soon,
until muffled coughs caught his attention, and nervous
whispers began filling the room.
And then Jesse turned with a smile, before retreating
back to his chair,
teaching a valuable lesson, with his final words
filling the air.
"I would like to introduce our valedictorian, he will
be speaking today.
Please give him your full attention, please hear all
that he has to say."
And then Jesse set Charlie's picture down, on the
podium facing the crowd,
as the silence told Charlie's story, a message quite
convincingly loud.